Narcissists can make your relationship with them high-conflict, especially if you’re going through a divorce. If you’re ending your marriage with a narcissist, here are some factors to consider throughout your Washington divorce process.
Narcissists never want to accept blame
One of the main characteristics of a narcissist is that they will not accept responsibility for their actions. No matter what they have done to contribute to your desire to divorce (e.g. being unfaithful, mishandling money, engaging in illegal activities), the narcissist will likely find a way to place the blame on someone else.
In addition to blaming you or another party for their behavior, a narcissist may also try to prolong the divorce to antagonize you. The narcissist may also try to “win” the divorce case by appealing to the judge or attorneys, claiming they are struggling financially or emotionally with the divorce, which may or may not be true. When a narcissist picks up on the fact that someone is important to you, such as the children you share or your marital home, the narcissist may hold these things over your head until they get what they want.
Narcissists have to feel as though they “won”
Most of the time, a narcissist will not simply walk away from the marriage without feeling that they have defeated you in some way. It’s important to make sure that your children are protected since the narcissist likely doesn’t mind arguing or talking about sensitive subjects in front of them. This tactic can make you look emotionally unhinged as the narcissist continues to push your emotional buttons to make you appear unstable so that they can possibly avoid paying spousal or child support or paying on the house the two of you once lived in together.
Keep in mind that if you have children with your ex your divorce could become more complicated. You’ll have to determine how to separate your assets, but you’ll also have to factor in child support and visitation. Your ex may try to use your children as pawns in the divorce, and it’s crucial to be aware of the signs.